What do you think of when you hear the phrase, “self care”? Maybe you think of pampering yourself or making time to do the things you love. While these things do have a positive impact on our lives, what’s even more important is how you take care of your mind and soul.

Stop being a people pleaser

This is a big one. I have spent the past 27 years of my life more concerned about the comfort of others, than my own well-being. I have made myself sick with anxiety and stretched the truth more times than I care to mention, instead of simply saying “No, I don’t feel like doing that”. I am what you call a “people pleaser”, through and through. It’s just part of who I am…it’s in my make up, and while I don’t think I will ever fully stop being a people pleaser, I am learning a thing called boundaries. I cannot stress to you enough, how crucial it is to not associate with anyone or anything that feeds you negative energy. If it does not bring you joy, walk away…in fact, run!

Say exactly what you mean

I believe this is somewhat similar to being a people pleaser. When you are more concerned about others than you are of your own well-being, it is easy to say things you think they want to hear, even if it’s not what you believe in. When you start practicing this concept, you may feel a bit uncomfortable, if you’re anything like me. But the more you do it, you will start feeling those chains loosen, one by one…and my gosh, is it a relief.

Never speak poorly of yourself

This is something I struggle with quite often. As a child, I spent years being talked down to by by my peers- “nobody likes you, you are so fat, you’re ugly”, the list goes on. Hearing those words at such a young age, affected me in such a negative way, that I have carried it into adulthood. It wasn’t until I got a bit older that I slowly but surely started changing my way of thinking. One significant moment in my life, was when my dad sat me down and had a heart-to-heart with me. I remember his words like it was yesterday. “You and only you can control your emotions…that means that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can steal your happiness, unless you allow them to”. He was right, and to this day, I still think of that conversation when a conflict arises. In this world, there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like you and talks down to you. Just don’t let it be you.

Let go of what you can’t control

I can’t tell you how often I have to remind myself of this one. There are five things you can’t control in your life- what other people think of you, what other people do, what happens around you, the outcome of your efforts, and the passage of time. With that being said, it is so important to let go of your fears and worries, and focus on what you CAN control today. My mom always told me, “You worrying about it is not going to change the outcome- all it will do is attract more negativity into your life”. I was raised by some pretty awesome people, if you can’t tell.

With that being said, today I want you to let go of what’s draining you. Let go of the stress, the fear, and the anxiety. Know that you, and you alone, are in control of your mind, your body, and your life. All of the external factors have no power over you. Walk away from drama, negativity, and judgmental people that only cause you harm. Dismiss any thought that undermines your peace of mind. The more you walk away from things that tarnish your soul, the healthier your life will be.